In what ways, how are you different from four years ago?

I’ve had three major life events in the last four years:

  1. divorce
  2. breast cancer
  3. met the love of my life

Not necessarily in that order. In fact, the correct order is #3, #1, #2.

Each of these things changed me in several ways, but here are the highlights:

  • I’m much more relaxed now. You (usually) don’t sweat the small stuff after cancer.
  • I’ve learned to be truly grateful for everything/everyone I have.
  • I’m happier. So much happier. It comes across in everything I do. It’s sort of old news now, but in the beginning, I had so many friends comment on how much happier and more positive I am since my divorce.
  • I’ve stopped procrastinating. Life is short. The future is no place to place your better days.

Have your views on remarriage changed over time?

Absolutely!

When I first left my (ex) husband, I was convinced I would never get married again. In fact, I was almost certain I would never have another serious long term relationship at all. Not because I didn’t want one, but because I just didn’t believe anything could work out. I was very jaded.

I remember early on in our relationship (4th of July 2012), some couple friends asked Dave and I to go on a trip to New Orleans with them in October 2012. My response was: Yeah, sure. If we are still together then. 

Dave loves to remind me of that. I said it right in front of him. 

Over the last several years, I have learned a lot about myself, about love, and about relationships. I truly believe that marriage can be a good, happy, and life long commitment if you marry the right person, and go into it with the right mindset. Relationships are hard work. We have to work on it every single day. And, almost more important, is my realization that I have to continue to work on myself. Because I can’t be a good partner if I’m not happy with myself. 

I can’t wait for the day when Dave and I get married. It’s going to be one of the best days ever. 

Why do you support shillary?

Honestly, I like Hills for a variety of reasons: 

  • her extensive experience
  • her record on gun control
  • she’s a hard ass and I would feel safer with her in the White House than Bernie.
  • she’s female and it’s way past time for a fucking female POTUS
  • i’m socially liberal, but fiscally conservative, and she is the best choice I have at this point. 

Will she possibly bend the rules from time to time? Maybe. Has she had her fair share of scandal? Definitely. Do I give a shit? Not really. Would anyone give as much of a shit if she were a man? Probably fucking not. 

I’m about to get really fucking real here. I’m probably going to lose followers over this, and that’s fine. But this is me keeping it real:

I do not support a Bernie Sanders presidency. Younger voters love his whole “i’m going to fix income inequality” spiel, but I don’t think college should be free, and I don’t think I should have to pay higher taxes so that other people can have a better standard of living. I don’t think the federal minimum wage should be $15/hour. I pulled myself out of poverty by working my ass off and never giving up; by getting an education, which, by the way, I’m paying back to the tune of $103,000.00 and almost $700.00 per month.  I did it all while working jobs that paid anywhere from $4 to $10 per hour and while paying my own living expenses. All of that hard work, suffering, and investment paid off, however, because I now own a successful business. I pay a fuck ton in taxes on both the corporate and personal levels. Now I need to pay more because there are other people who don’t want to follow the same path? Fuck that noise. 

I recently read the following in an article on HuffPost:

Thus, what the “socially liberal, fiscally conservative” person is really saying is: “I support the plight of the marginalized, so long as I don’t have to do anything about it.”

Maybe that’s true. It’s something I’m struggling with right now, but at least I’m honest enough to admit it. I’m on Team Jenn. You do you, I’m going to do me. 

Shave or wax?

Shave. 

I prefer the feel/effect of waxing, but 1) I don’t like the grow out period. I’m an instant gratification kind of girl, 2) I don’t have time to make an appointment somewhere to get it done regularly and those at home wax kits have never worked out for me, and 3) shaving allows me to mix it up. While I typically prefer to go completely bare, sometimes I dig a landing strip.

As an aside: I will say that one of the silver linings of chemo and the related hair loss is how wonderfully smooth your entire body feels. 

So there ya have it. 

Besides yourself, who do you give the most credit for helping you become the person you are today?

Definitely my grandmother. It sounds so cheesy I know, but she was like a bright light in a very dark tunnel. She believed in me, encouraged me, and loved me when it felt like nobody else did/would/could. She was like a mother to me. I lost her in 2007 and I miss her every single day.

The craziest part is that we weren’t even blood relatives. She was my step-dad’s mother, but that never mattered. She made me feel special every single day.

Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly, then send this to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable) (positivity is cool).

1. I can admit when I’m wrong, and I can laugh at myself.

2. I’m a good listener.

3. I’m compassionate.

4. I’m a hard working, driven person. I go after what I want.

5. My personal style.

What do I have for Jenn? Well, you’re completely kickass for about a million and one reasons. If you weren’t practicing law, then what would you be doing?

My alternative career plan was to get my PhD in either English or Comparative Literature and teach at the university level. However, I had dreamed of being a lawyer from the age of five, so law school won out. 

I’m happy with the choice I made. 

Thanks for the question and the compliment! xoxo

@catharticexperience