if something has to change then it always does

  1. Danielle came over today. I haven’t seen her in a couple of weeks. It was good to catch up and I may have had like two bottles of wine. Oops. 
  2. I spent most of the day on the couch. I caught up on Girls and The Walking Dead. Finally. 
  3. I’m moving in May.  To Creve Coeur. I’m mostly happy with this decision.  The biggest pros: closer to my kid’s school, which means less driving for me, a really nice, central location, the ability to have lunch time sex dates again (yay!), more space,  no more noisy upstairs neighbors, and a lot closer to the bf.
  4. I’m calling my rheumatologist tomorrow and asking for Enbrel. I’m done with this constant pain and fatigue. So done.
  5. I’m only working 3 days this week. I’m looking forward to some vacation time.
  6. Random fact about breast reconstruction: the implants are cool to the touch. It’s a weird sensation.
  7. I’m going to be finishing book #21 tonight. I’ve found an author I’m really into right now. She writes mystery/horror novels.  Jennifer McMahon.

i want to be the girl with the most cake

I suck at responding to your messages & emails. I’m sorry. I’m trying, but I’m tired, forgetful, and busy. Just know that I love you.

Jackson is on spring break this week. We just hung out around the apartment this afternoon.  This gave me a chance to do some reading. I’m currently reading Breast Left Unsaid: A True and Uncensored Story of Survival. I wasn’t too sure about it at first, but I’m about halfway through and it is hitting very close to home.  All of these feelings have arisen. I feel like I could have written this story, and sometimes I wonder if I should give it a go. 

I’m currently writing a pros & cons list regarding moving back to the county.  I’ve also made some inquiries regarding a couple of places in the Chesterfield/Creve Coeur areas. I’m honestly torn about what to do.  The weather was really nice on Saturday, which makes the decision process so much harder. It was easy to get down on city living in the winter.  But this weekend, Dave and I went for a run in Forest Park, and then we walked to O’Shay’s and Urban Chestnut. It was so much fun, and a big part of me wants another year here.  AHHH. 

I’m thinking of trying Bikram yoga this week. I’ve heard good things, and I’m intrigued. I’m ready to try something new.  I’m trying to decide which studio to check out. 

I’m behind on my tv shows. I need to get caught up with TWD before I see anymore spoilers.  Plus, Scott is freaking out b/c he wants to chat about it, and I’m two weeks behind. 

Our betta fish, Nemo, is dying. I’m sad about it. 

I’m thinking about doing this challenge. I think it’s cute. 

This weekend the bf and I watched 12 Years A Slave and Dallas Buyers Club.  I enjoyed both, but 12 Years was incredible and heartbreaking. You should see it.

one step forward and back two

  • I finished True Blood. I was really into season 6 until the last two episodes, and then I was like…fucking really? So disappointing. 
  • But HBO GO is a fucking win.  Watching HBO on my Macbook Air while sitting in bed? Yes, please.
  • You know what else is a win? The Martian by Andy Weir. I’m about halfway through and I’m really enjoying it.  It’s one of those books that makes you want to bail on real life to sit around and read all day. 
  • I’m getting my hair cut tomorrow and I’m excited.  I’m about two weeks overdue.  I have a pic of a style I like. I think I’m going to cut the back a lot shorter while I wait for the top and sides to grow out. I can’t deal with how it is right now. People say they like it, but I don’t. It’s so boring. I will be kind of sad to see the cute little ponytail go, but it will be back.
  • I had a lunch date with my boyfriend today.  This is turning into a Wednesday thing, and I like it.
  • I haven’t eaten any of the Girl Scout cookies in three days. I shall defeat these evil fucking things. 
  • I’m so tired. DST has me all fucked up. It’s hard to fall asleep at a decent hour and it’s even harder to wake up in the morning. 
  • And since it’s Wednesday, here’s a pic of my tired looking face.

i think i’ll float

  • Could Daryl and Beth be any cuter? They are my faves. #TheWalkingDead
  • I heard the most depressing song ever on Friday night. My Orphan Year. Maybe I cried a little bit. Shut up. 
  • My ex-husband’s grandfather committed suicide this weekend. It has been on my mind a lot since I found out.  It’s one of those weird situations where you feel sad, but then you feel like you don’t have the right to be sad, because you’re the one who wanted to get divorced. You’re the one that left that family behind.  But in reality, life doesn’t work that way. Emotions don’t work that way. You don’t stop caring about people just because you get divorced. I’m entitled to feel sad, and I do. 
  • Xanax, thank you for all you do. 
  • Serious body issues tonight. I’m avoiding mirrors.
  • I get to spend every night for the next week with my kiddo. ❤
  • I think I’m going to Scotland at the end of the month.  My boyfriend is going for business and has invited me to join him. 
  • I need it to warm up so I can start running outside again. Spring cannot come soon enough. 
  • I think I’m going to go ahead and do the half-marathon in April since I’m already signed up for it. I’ll have to walk most of it, since I haven’t trained at all, but whatever. I need to worry less about the time, and more about the experience.  
  • Tomorrow is girls night with the bestie. Can’t wait. I’m thinking it’s definitely a pizza and wine kind of night. 
  • I leave you with my face, because it’s Mugshot Monday.

image

friday five

  1. I saw my rheumatologist the other day, and he wants me to start on the injectable Methotrexate to see if that works better than the pills.  If not, then I’ll go back on Enbrel at my follow up appointment in six weeks. 
  2. My lymphedema has been acting up, so I ordered a replacement compression sleeve today.  It’s super cute.  It has stars on it.  Here.
  3. I’m taking my bestie to go see Tegan & Sara (for her birthday) on 5/6 in Columbia. I’m so excited to see them again.  Plus, I love the venue.  I went to a ton of shows at The Blue Note when I was in college. 
  4. I’m seeing the other bestie tonight to go swim suit and lingerie shopping. I can’t believe she’s finally getting married in a few weeks.  I’m looking forward to a girls night with her. I haven’t seen her in a while.
  5. I’m almost finished with my 13th book of the year.  I’m currently reading The Waiting by Joe Hart.