thanksgivings past

As we approach Thanksgiving, D and I have been talking about all the Thanksgivings we have spent together. It made me want to do a recap post.

Thanksgiving 2012

This was our very first Thanksgiving together. Just the two of us. I was living in a townhouse in Ballwin. D came over with bottles of Bordeaux and Riesling, and made fun of me because I had a bottle of sweet red wine. Ha. I ordered Thanksgiving dinner from Maggiano’s, which was surprisingly delicious. We ate dinner and watched television. We ended up watching 28 Days Later, which D had never seen. We talked about divorce, and our kids, our fears for them, etc. There may have been some tears. Despite that, it was a really great night. I’ll always remember it.

We look like babies! OMG. This was just a matter of days before my bilateral mastectomy, so I was a bit of an emotional mess.

Thanksgiving 2013

This year D had Freya, but I didn’t have Jackson.  I came over to his place and helped him make dinner. It was slightly awkward because Freya was so shy and everything still felt very new and sort of strange. In fact, the morning started off a bit rough because when D’s ex dropped Freya off she (the ex) was crying. I felt so very sad for her that day. We rallied though and the three of us played Mario Kart. D and I made dinner.

Frey looks so young in this pic. I miss those little girl bangs. Sigh.

Thanksgiving 2014

This year I had Jackson, and Freya was with her mom. I was living in an apartment in the city. D came over and spent the night. I ordered food from Maggiano’s again, upon D’s request. He got a big kick out of having a catered Thanksgiving dinner.  I remember I didn’t have a phone, because I had broken mine and was waiting on a replacement. We ate food and lounged around watching movies. I think we watched Contact and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. D fell asleep on the couch.


My brother had just died the week before so I was still working through that. I remember I was quite sad, but also so thankful. Thankful to be alive. Thankful to be with my two favorite people. Thankful to have such a wonderful life.

Thanksgiving 2015

I made arrangements with the ex to change our custody schedule so that D and I would have the kids on the same holidays as much as possible. So this was the first Thanksgiving where we had both of the kids. It was awesome! Jackson and I went over to D and Frey’s place. The kids played together (Minecraft!) while D and I made a big dinner. It was one of my favorite Thanksgivings ever. Everything felt very comfortable and normal.


Thanksgiving 2016

This year it will be just the two of us again. We’re looking forward to making Thanksgiving dinner in our new home! We will miss the kids obviously, but we both agree that we are looking forward to it just being the two of us this year. There will be wine, yummy food, movies, and sex. I can’t wait.


  1. We watched movies.  The kids watched the second half of Jurassic Park with us. I can’t figure out if that was a parenting fail since it’s PG-13, but whatever. They liked it. Except Jackson hid under the blanket whenever the T-rex was on the screen. I kind of don’t blame him. T-rex is scary as fuck. 
  2. We ate SO MUCH FOOD and it was delightful. 
  3. We went to Citygarden to play in the fountains.
  4. These kids and their Minecraft shit. They play it constantly. I don’t get it. I’m pretty sure that means I’m old. 
  5. The bf walked to Urban Chestnut to fill the growler with Fantasyland. ❤
  6. There were fireworks galore. My neighbors are very into fireworks. In fact, the fireworks show on our street was better than what we later saw in Forest Park. Next year I’m just going to sit on the back porch and skip the park. 

These pics totally suck, but they were the best I could get in such poor light and with my crappy iPhone camera. Jackson had a blast tonight. We went to Citygarden and watched the fireworks. This is the first year he has been old enough to really appreciate Independence Day and fireworks.

I started my day by running a 10k. It pretty much kicked my ass and I’m exhausted. My time was 1:13:10 and I’m not happy with that at all. I’m trying to not be too hard on myself under the circumstances. Half-marathon training starts this month and I have a lot of work to do.


It recently occurred to me that the upcoming holiday season is going to be way different.  I’ve consulted my parenting plan, and it looks like I will have Jackson on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve.  So now I have to figure out what to do.  I’m talking with my sister about doing something on both days.  I want the holidays to be special for Jackson, and not just the two of us sitting alone at home. The only time I ever feel especially bummed about not having a close family is during the holidays.  Plus, the holidays bring up a lot of bad memories from my childhood. I want to break that cycle now that I have my own child.

I was freaking out about the idea of not having Jackson all day on Christmas, but I guess it won’t be too bad, because I will have him Christmas morning, which will be awesome.  This will be the first year that he will actually be excited about opening presents. I can’t wait.  I’m going to go all out this year: a tree, stockings, Santa, all of it.  Grant was never into having a Christmas tree, and the damn cat would have destroyed it anyway.  For once, I’m actually looking forward to the holidays. After I drop him off at Grant’s place, I will just go see a movie or something.  Maybe Robert will still be up for our annual Chinese dinner tradition.