wine inspired thoughts

I feel like a completely different person than I was even four years ago. Like I look at myself sometimes and I’m like: who am I? But at the same time, I feel like I’m finally exactly who I was always meant to be. 

I wonder who I’ll be four years from now?

“But I’m good at being uncomfortable, so I can’t stop changing all the time.” 

– Fiona Apple Extraordinary Machine


  • My boobs hurt. I need a boob massage. 
  • I really want a giant piece of chocolate cake. Fuck. 
  • Oooh or cheesecake. Vanilla bean cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory is my fave.
  • It was a snow day today so the kiddo stayed home.
  • But we went to the office and got shit done until his dad picked him up.
  • I wanted to say something mean about my ex, like, “I want to kick him in his last functioning nut,” but then he had to go act nice and shit. 
  • i’m having the most hilarious text conversation with Kara. We are terrible people, and I’m surprised we have any friends. At least we have each other! @karaisafourletterword
  • Today I deleted the fake Facebook account I used to spy on my ex. Progress!
  • I’m home alone and a little tipsy. What shall I do? Hmm…
  • Just kidding…I’m going to read, watch House of Cards, and run/walk on the treadmill because I’m lame as fuck. 
  • As you were.

paying the cost to be the boss

  • I didn’t set my alarm last night so I could sleep in. I didn’t have to be anywhere at any particular time this morning since my kid was with his dad (for his birthday – usually I have him Monday nights). I stayed up way late reading Savage Lane. I’m almost finished. It’s highly entertaining. 
  • So anyway, I was way looking forward to getting my sleep on, but then my ex called me twice in a row. The first time I ignored it. The second time (immediately thereafter) I was like, oh fuck something is wrong. Nope. He just wanted to tell me something I already knew. *sigh*
  • This is going to sound conceited, but I think sometimes he just wants an excuse to talk to me. I guess I can’t really blame him. We were together for fifteen years. Old habits die hard, right?
  • I checked my Facebook right after waking up and I had 23 notifications, and I was like wait what… So I looked and some dude that I don’t know, but is a friend of my cousin, had liked 23 of my profile pics. Then he sent me a message (and a friend request) that simply said, “I like you.” Um…no. Fuck off, creeper.
  • This has been happening a lot lately and I’m not a fan. Just leave me be. Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Facebook…I’m getting hit on at every social media site.
  • This is what happens when your boob goes viral, apparently. 
  • I got kind of a lot done at the office even though I was tired and not really feeling it. It’s rainy here (has been for days) and very blah. Not cold though, which is weird. Timehop told me that this day last year was the first snow. The weather is weird this year and I don’t like it.
  • I left work early today to have drinks with my partner and our colleague who may as well be our partner since we share office space and clients and pretty much all of the things. Scott & Rick. They are my bros. I love them. 
  • Bell’s Two Hearted Ale can make pretty much anything better. At least temporarily. 
  • And now I’m tipsy and waiting on my boyfriend to arrive so that we can drink and smoke and bang and go out and be merry. That’s why you are getting this post.
  • Oh and he will be changing the battery in my smoke detector which has been going off randomly (usually at two in the morning) for the last few days. I can’t figure out how to change it myself, which probably makes me sound like an idiot, but I swear I’ve never seen one like this before. Also, I don’t really give a fuck if it makes me sound dumb. I fail at adulting on my own. This is why I need a husband. 
  • In fact, it’s going off right now. Ugh. I have a chair sitting under it so I can climb up and hit the button that makes it stop for a while. *sigh*
  • Zero fucks given…forever and ever amen. 

drunken blogging

I had wine for dinner tonight. That probably wasn’t my best idea. I followed it with gummy bears. The entire fucking bag. Yum. Then I threw the bag on the floor. Eh. #putitofftilltomorrow

Wine is magical. It seriously made me feel way better, and allowed me to talk through my feelings without acting/feeling like a maniac. #alcoholforthewin

My bestie if fantastic b/c she let me talk her ear off and gave me some good advice. *hearts* #somuchlove

I thought the Girls season finale was really good. I was really proud of Hannah. I won’t say why b/c spoilers. #hatersgonnahate #sorrynotsorry

I keep thinking about how crazy it is that I’m going to Hawaii for James’ wedding. When I got married back in 2004, he walked me down the aisle. I love him so much. I’m so happy for him. I have to find something fabulous to wear. I know all the gay boys there are going to be fierce. #squee

So my ex-MIL gave me a box of old pics I left in her basement. I went through them tonight (in my drunken state this seemed like an excellent idea) and found all kinds of awesomeness. I found a bunch of pics from undergrad and I looked like such a baby. Who is that girl? She has no fucking idea. NONE. #itotallycriedbecauseduh

My latest Le Tote showed up today and it won. Big time. I love five out of the six things. I have to talk myself out of buying all of it. Fashion selifes tomorrow b/c I’m going to wear the hell out of this stuff. #shoppingaddiction

I can hear my kid snoring from his bedroom and that makes me happy. #beingmommyisthebest

The firm is slammed. Success is stressful. Don’t you feel sorry for me? Wah. #firstworldproblems

I went to The Fortune Teller Bar tonight for Laura’s birthday and had my fortune told for the first time. Apparently, I am fucking awesome, level headed, successful, and a fucking boss. My future is all kittens and rainbows.

I tipped her twenty bucks and then went back to my regularly scheduled drinking.

I am drunk.

The end.