In what ways, how are you different from four years ago?

I’ve had three major life events in the last four years:

  1. divorce
  2. breast cancer
  3. met the love of my life

Not necessarily in that order. In fact, the correct order is #3, #1, #2.

Each of these things changed me in several ways, but here are the highlights:

  • I’m much more relaxed now. You (usually) don’t sweat the small stuff after cancer.
  • I’ve learned to be truly grateful for everything/everyone I have.
  • I’m happier. So much happier. It comes across in everything I do. It’s sort of old news now, but in the beginning, I had so many friends comment on how much happier and more positive I am since my divorce.
  • I’ve stopped procrastinating. Life is short. The future is no place to place your better days.

Have your views on remarriage changed over time?

Absolutely!

When I first left my (ex) husband, I was convinced I would never get married again. In fact, I was almost certain I would never have another serious long term relationship at all. Not because I didn’t want one, but because I just didn’t believe anything could work out. I was very jaded.

I remember early on in our relationship (4th of July 2012), some couple friends asked Dave and I to go on a trip to New Orleans with them in October 2012. My response was: Yeah, sure. If we are still together then. 

Dave loves to remind me of that. I said it right in front of him. 

Over the last several years, I have learned a lot about myself, about love, and about relationships. I truly believe that marriage can be a good, happy, and life long commitment if you marry the right person, and go into it with the right mindset. Relationships are hard work. We have to work on it every single day. And, almost more important, is my realization that I have to continue to work on myself. Because I can’t be a good partner if I’m not happy with myself. 

I can’t wait for the day when Dave and I get married. It’s going to be one of the best days ever. 

Shave or wax?

Shave. 

I prefer the feel/effect of waxing, but 1) I don’t like the grow out period. I’m an instant gratification kind of girl, 2) I don’t have time to make an appointment somewhere to get it done regularly and those at home wax kits have never worked out for me, and 3) shaving allows me to mix it up. While I typically prefer to go completely bare, sometimes I dig a landing strip.

As an aside: I will say that one of the silver linings of chemo and the related hair loss is how wonderfully smooth your entire body feels. 

So there ya have it. 

the reason i don’t do anon

I turned off the anon ask me anything option like two years ago. I used to get a bunch of anonymous messages, and they were almost always really nice, occasionally creepy, and once or twice mean. This was before I had as many followers, and I more or less knew who read this blog, with the exception of a few people in real life whom I suspected but didn’t know for sure. Anyway, one day I wrote a post that mentioned this chick I used to know and I did not have nice things to say about her. Very soon thereafter, I received my first really hateful anon message, which said: fuck you, you ugly whore.

You know how sometimes you just know something? Well I knew this bitch had sent me this message. It just made sense that she would know about this blog and continue to read it, because she was a nosy drama queen, and the timing was too perfect.  I didn’t particularly care about the message…meaning it didn’t hurt my feelings or anything. In fact, I laughed, and texted my boyfriend to tell him about it, because he knew this chick as well.  If anything, it felt kind of good, because I disliked her a great deal and I was happy she knew about it, even though I would never have intentionally sought her out to hurt her feelings. 

However, I decided to turn anon off after that, because while I don’t give a fuck if you want to call me an ugly whore, you need to fucking own that shit. 

The reason I feel free to be so open and honest (and public) about my life and my opinions on this blog is because I stand behind all of it.  Anything I ever say about you behind your back, I would say straight to your face. I have lived this way for a very long time, and it has always served me well. This is me… for better or for worse.