I thought I was sure I wanted to cut my hair off, but then I really liked it today and now I’m torn. I figure if I’m not 100% sure then I should hold off, because I can always cut it short, but it takes for-fucking-ever to grow it back.
I am in love with the dress I wore today. It’s the hep hostess dress from Modcloth. My son came up to me after I changed into it and said, “Wow, mom! You look so good.” That made my day.
The bf and I drank much beer today and had much fun. Then we came home and ate Taco Bell.
We tried to bang, but the kids cock blocked us per usual. They’re lucky they are so damn cute.
I have had the craziest fucking dreams lately, but the most fucked up one was Thursday night. I dreamed my step-dad was still alive and was trying to kill me, Dave, Freya, and Jackson. I was very upset when I woke up, and it is crazy/fucked up/sad to me that even after all this time, he’s still so scary to me. I guess the scars of domestic violence/abuse/neglect never really go away.
The very first nightmare I ever remember having involved him as well. I was like six or seven and my parents (in their infinite wisdom) let me watch A Nightmare on Elm Street. That night, I went to bed so fucking scared I slept with the light on. Anyway, I dreamed that I woke up and walked through the house to the sound of those jump roping girls singing that creepy Freddy song, and when I opened the front door Freddy was standing right there laughing. Then his hand reached up and pulled off his face (which was actually a mask) and it was my step-dad underneath. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?!!
Let’s end this on a happy note: Jackson and Freya are so excited to be step-siblings and it makes me so happy I want to cry. (I really, really hope the exes don’t find a way to shit all over it.)