• My boobs hurt. I need a boob massage. 
  • I really want a giant piece of chocolate cake. Fuck. 
  • Oooh or cheesecake. Vanilla bean cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory is my fave.
  • It was a snow day today so the kiddo stayed home.
  • But we went to the office and got shit done until his dad picked him up.
  • I wanted to say something mean about my ex, like, “I want to kick him in his last functioning nut,” but then he had to go act nice and shit. 
  • i’m having the most hilarious text conversation with Kara. We are terrible people, and I’m surprised we have any friends. At least we have each other! @karaisafourletterword
  • Today I deleted the fake Facebook account I used to spy on my ex. Progress!
  • I’m home alone and a little tipsy. What shall I do? Hmm…
  • Just kidding…I’m going to read, watch House of Cards, and run/walk on the treadmill because I’m lame as fuck. 
  • As you were.

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