brain dump

I miss my kid. He should be here tonight, but it’s his dad’s birthday so he’s with him instead. I could really use one of his awesome hugs. 

I’m going to knock myself out with drugs tonight. I desperately need some real sleep. 

And I need to contact the weed guy. 

We finished picking out the options for the house. Now we just need to email the stuff to the sales lady so she can prepare the contract. We need to have it signed before January 10th. I’m super excited. Also nervous. Mostly I can’t believe it’s actually happening.

There will be two fireplaces. Ahh. 4th upgrade slate cabinets. A bar. Granite all the things. Wood floors as far as the eye can see. Glass paneled french doors. And trim, trim, and more trim. 

I’m sad that it’s almost time to take the Christmas tree down.

I threw away half a pie today because I seriously just need to stop.

I’m a terrible friend. I never answer the phone. I could be out right now hanging with a girlfriend (whom I very much miss), but meh.

People reach out to me and I suck at responding. 

I’m not going to debate most shit with you because I really just don’t give a fuck if you disagree with me. 

I read that it takes about five years to heal from a divorce. I feel like I’ve only just recently (like in the last year or so) started to really deal with some of my own emotions regarding my divorce. The year of my divorce I was also going through cancer treatment, so it was easy to dismiss it as not something I needed to worry about. 

I want to re-read some books from my childhood, particularly the Little House series. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to be available for download on Kindle. I received a $50 Amazon gift card for Christmas, so I’m considering buying the set. 

I dislike this last week of the year. It feels very “hurry up and wait” to me. 

I’m going to jump on the treadmill and watch HGTV reruns. 

I want to do a blog challenge in January. I’m having a hard time choosing. Any recommendations?

too connected

I took a much needed nap this afternoon and it was lovely.

Though it was disrupted several times by my phone. 

Text from my sister: My lawyer is a bitch. I need to ask you an important question.

Me: *eyeroll* ignore.

Call from sister because I haven’t immediately responded to her text.

Me: Nope. Ignore. 

Call #5 from Walgreens.

Me: Nope. Chill the fuck out, Walgreens. I’ll pick it up tonight. JFC. 

Call from ex-husband. 

Me: Double nope. I don’t care if it is your birthday. Nope. Nope. Nope. Fuckity nope. 

Sometimes I want to throw my phone in the river and never look back. 


I’ve been thinking about the swinger lifestyle lately.

Not that I want to do it. Been there, done that. But I was considering how some people go about it, like with the dating and texting and what not. The whole “let’s be friends with benefits” thing. I remember being more or less encouraged to do those things; to treat these other men like boyfriend(s). And, in my opinion, that is a huge mistake. Fucking is one thing. Intimacy is another. Encouraging intimacy with an outsider is a good way to lose your significant other. That’s exactly what happened to my ex. I’m confident he regrets it now.

If you want to swap, have a threesome, foursome, or even a more-some, go on with your bad self. I get it. Long term relationships can be difficult to keep fresh, and humans weren’t really made for monogamy. But be smart about it, ffs. You’ve got to keep some things special. Some things have to be reserved for the one you love.

Basically, my advice boils down to this: hit it and quit it. 

(Clearly if you are poly or whatever this doesn’t apply to you. I’m talking about couples just looking to experiment.)