Last selfie of 2014.
Except chances are I will get drunk later and take/post another one.
I want to send this to my ex, but I won’t.
I really identified with this. At one point, it was like he was describing my life with my ex-husband. The points contained in this post, especially #3, are realizations I had that finally convinced me I needed to call it quits.
While I am still occasionally sad about it, I have no regrets. Life is too short to spend with someone who makes you unhappy. No matter how much you love them.
Love does not equal compatibility.
Too much work. Not enough time. Stress levels are high. No time to text. No time to internet. NO TIME.
Chapped lips. Dry skin. Constantly cold. I hate winter.
However, I adore Taco Tuesday. Yum.
And even though it’s frustrating as all fuck, I’ve had fun playing Lego Batman 3 with my two favorite people. Team work!
I know some people hate New Years resolutions, but I love them. Here is what I hope to accomplish in 2015:
- Read 50 books. This should be easy. I surpassed that this year.
- Be more active. I’m not putting any pressure on myself about a certain number of times per week I need to be exercising. (In fact, I plan on canceling my gym memberships.) I just want to run and walk more. Maybe ride my bike. I don’t want it to feel like a chore. I’m over that. I’m never going to be that super fit chick. I’m never going to hit the gym every single day. That’s just not me.
- Be more body positive. Finishing up my reconstruction has helped a lot with this, but I still need to work at it. I am way too critical of myself, and it really brings me down. That’s silly. I am beautiful. Inside and out. It’s time to start acting like it. I’m going to own that in 2015. I’m done with being my own worst enemy. I’m 35 years old. I’m over it. I even told the bf that I want to be naked on the beach in Belize next year because fuck it that’s why.
- Strengthen relationships with friends and family. I’ve already started on this one, and it makes my heart happy.
- Travel. On the list so far: Iceland, Boston, Wisconsin, Chicago, Hawaii, and Belize.
- Try something new every month. It can be anything: a new food, restaurant, hairstyle, activity…you get the idea.
- Be more present. Less social media. Less cell phone. Less work distractions. My people deserve more of my attention.
I think these are reasonable. It’s not like I’m foolish enough to think I’m going to magically turn into some super fabulous version of myself or something. However, I do want to be constantly improving. Otherwise, what’s the point?
- Cancer fakers: why? Fuck you. Seriously.
- Tonight I bought my very first (but definitely not last) pair of fleece lined leggings and I am in love. I’m going to buy a few more pairs for Iceland.
- Speaking of Iceland, it’s coming up fast and we still have a lot to do to get ready. I’m slightly stressed, but it’s going to be so worth it.
- The bf and I made more beer today. Today was an American Pale Ale. I hope it turns out. We are calling it Welcome Back to America Pale Ale, because it will be ready when we get back from Iceland. I know…we are dorks. (The bf wants to brew a Bock beer so he can call it Jenny From The Bock.)
- I’m sick of holidays. It really throws off my schedule, and that makes me feel weird. I just want life to go back to normal now. It doesn’t help that the custody schedule is going to be really weird for the next several weeks b/c the ex is leaving for a week and then a week later I will be leaving.
- I had one of those days today where I woke up feeling sad, but not for any particular reason. I have felt like something was off all day. I’m hoping I’ll sleep it off tonight.
- I really, really need to start packing. And also hire movers.
- Allegiant – Veronica Roth
- The Lonely Polygamist – Brady Udall
- Ghost Story – Peter Straub
- How To Be A Good Wife – Emma Chapman
- Me Before You – Jojo Moyes
- Eleanor & Park – Rainbow Rowell
- Lies You Wanted To Hear – James Whitfield Thornton
- Fangirl – Rainbow Rowell
- The Never List – Koethi Zan
- If I Stay – Gayle Forman
- Reconstructing Amelia – Kimberly McCreight
- Where’d You Go Bernadette? – Maria Semple
- The Waiting – Joe Hart
- House of Glass – Sophie Littlefield
- Attachments – Ranibow Rowell
- The Magpies – Mark Edwards
- Speak – Laurie Halse Anderson
- The Martian – Andy Weir
- Breast Left Unsaid – Jude Calligros
- The Winter People – Jennifer McMahon
- Promise Not to Tell – Jennifer McMahon
- You Should Have Known – Jean Hanff Korelitz
- Before I Go – Riley Weston
- The House Next Door – Anne Rivers Siddons
- Dark Lullaby – Mayra Calvani
- Still Missing – Chevy Stevens
- Heart Shaped Box – Joe HIll
- Lineage – Joe Hart
- What Alice Forgot – Liane Moriarty
- The Guilty One – Lisa Ballantyne
- Me, Earl, and The Dying Girl – Jesse Andrews
- The River is Dark – Joe Hart
- Before I Fall – Lauren Oliver
- Charm & Strange – Stephanie Kuehn
- Complicit – Stephanie Kuehn
- Everything I Never Told You – Celeste Ng
- The Silent Sister – Diane Chamberlain
- Landline – Rainbow Rowell
- Three Wishes – Liane Moriarty
- Help For The Haunted – John Searles
- The Girl You Left Behind – Jojo Moyes
- Falling Into Place – Amy Zhang
- Big Little Lies – Liane Moriarty
- Not That Kind Of Girl – Lena Dunham
- Fifty Shades of Grey – EL James
- Flatland – Edwin Abbott
- The Tender Bar – JR Moehringer
- One Plus One – Jojo Moyes
- On A Hill – Michael Whitehouse
- The Last Letter From Your Lover– Jojo Moyes
- After I Do – Taylor Reid
- Turn Of Mind – Alice LaPlante
- We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves – Karen Joy Fowler
- We Were Liars – E. Lockhart
- Conversion – Katherine Howe
- Contact – Carl Sagan
I haven’t yet decided what to read next, but I doubt I’ll finish it this year (though it’s possible). My goal was to read 36 books this year, so I’m quite pleased that I somehow managed to read 56.
My top 10 of 2014:
(in no particular order)
- The Girl You Left Behind
- Me Before You
- Not That Kind Of Girl
- Heart Shaped Box
- The Martian
- Eleanor & Park
- One Plus One
Basically, Moyes and Rowell for the win. But read The Martian if you like science fiction, because it is amazing.
Christmas Eve is going very well. I’m happy.
The bf gave me a bunch of excellent gifts, made me a delicious dinner, and now we are cuddling while watching Christmas Vacation.