brought to you courtesy of beer and xanax

The Essentials
Name: Jennifer
Nickname: Jenn. Never Jenny. Only my grandmother got away with calling me that, and she’s dead now, so…don’t. 
Location: Missouri
Age: 34
Height: 5’6 (and a ½)
Zodiac sign: Cancer
Favorite thing about yourself: My determination. 
Worst habit: My general awkwardness. It’s painful.
Fun fact: I once accidentally brought pot into the courthouse. It was in my purse and went through the scanner and past the drug dog. I got lucky. 🙂

Identity, Sexuality & Personality
Gender identity: Female
Sexual preference: Penis, though I’ve had some experience with the ladies in the past. 
Romantic preference: I love romance. I adore cutesy texts, cuddles, saying I love you, special date nights, and getting flowers. That stuff makes me happy. 
“Kinsey Scale” score: 2. (Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual.)
Relationship status: Divorced. Currently in a two year relationship with the love of my life. 
Myers/Briggs type: INFJ
Introvert(89%)  iNtuitive(12%)  Feeling(50%)  Judging(78%)

Hogwarts house: Gryffindor

Routine
“Early Bird” or “Night Owl”: Night Owl. I hate getting up in the morning. 
Morning routine: Hit snooze at least 2-4 times, pee, shower, put on make-up, fix hair, get dressed, get the kiddo ready if he’s with me, walk the dog, grab a diet pepsi, and leave.
Bath or shower: Shower
First thought in the morning: Motherfucker really?
Last thought before falling asleep at night: I always calculate how much sleep I can get before the alarm goes off, and then I usually think about work or sex. 

School/Work
Do you work or are you a student: Work
Where do you work/study: My law firm.
What do you do: Lawyer. Consumer Bankruptcy Law & Criminal Defense. 
Where do you see yourself in 5 years: Cancer free, rich, and happy. Hopefully living in a super fancy house with a swimming pool. 

Habits (Do you … )
Drink: A lot. Beer and wine mostly. 
Smoke: No. Yuck.
Do Drugs: Some. 
Exercise: Walking, running, and the occasional yoga. Wanna start PiYo, I think. 
Have a go-to comfort food: burritos and cookies.
Have a nervous habit: clenching teeth and tapping my foot. 

What is your favorite …
Physical quality (in yourself): eyes
In Others: Smile & eyes. Then the ass. 
Mental/emotional quality (in yourself): Strength of will. I’m a fighter. 
Food: burrito
Drink: Diet Pepsi
Animal: fat orange tabby cats. i want one. 
Artist/Band/Group: DMB for life. 
Author/Poet: I can’t pick just one. Sorry. 
TV Show: Game of Thrones
Actor: I don’t really give a shit about such stuff, but probably Jeff Bridges because The Big Lebowski. Duh. 
Actress: Kate Winslet or Angelina Jolie
Blogger: Bitches Gotta Eat.  You’re welcome. ❤

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