everything hits at once

My surgeon called with the pathology results.  Microscopic cancer cells were in all three nodes.  Now she wants to do another surgery to remove the remaining nodes in the area. I’m a little annoyed about the second surgery, as St. Luke’s does the biopsy during the original surgery, and then will take out the remaining nodes if the biopsies show cancer.  That makes a lot more sense to me.

I’m going on Friday to have a PET scan and CAT scan.  This will show where else the cancer has spread. Let’s hope it hasn’t.

I’m trying to stay positive, but it’s difficult. 

I’m particularly miserable today.  All of my incisions are sore/itchy, my right knee is extremely swollen, several other areas of my body are swollen, including my cheeks (wtf?), and I can barely walk. 

I’m really hoping that the swollen nodes above the neck are related to the psoriatic arthritis.  It’s truly unfortunate that I’m having a bad arthritis flare at the same time I’m recovering from a double mastectomy.  Good luck…I have none.

Still, I’m trying to stay positive.  Even if it has spread to the lymph nodes above the neck, it would still only be stage 3.  It’s only stage 4 if it has spread to other organs or distant nodes.  Friday can’t get here soon enough.  I just want to know.  Enough with the fucking waiting.

I need to call my mom and sister to tell them.  I’m dreading it.  They are going to flip out.

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